Quick cheesecake. No, really.

As you might already know, a constant "hiccup" in my daily life is low blood sugar. I can go from being totally fine and sociable to being sick to my stomach, dizzy, and a complete bitch in a matter of a minute and a half.
The other day I was, once again, on the verge of nausea from low blood sugar and was in a half daze trying to put together a snack of limited things in the house. I found a box of cinnamon-sugar Stop & Shop brand graham crackers in the depths of the pantry, and made a cream cheese sandwich out of it.
Now, when I'm in this daze of trying to find a quick snack that isn't totally shitty for me and something that has carbs to pick up my sugar, it goes one of two ways: I either devour 3/4 of a sleeve of Ritz crackers, or I catch myself in time to actually put something together that occasionally turns out to be quite delicious. Lots of times it involves cream cheese...like the banana cream pie on a Ritz. I love cream cheese.
Anyway, this time I had no bananas or other fruit for that matter, and usually I more enjoy the honey graham crackers over the cinnamon sugar ones, but holy moley was this one a good choice.

The first bite I took out of it was like "ok hopefully in 5 minutes I wont feel this sick anymore" and it quickly moved to "holy crap why is this so delicious??" It's become a new favorite snack. It literally tastes like cheesecake, and why not?? Afterwords I was like "DUH, cream cheese and graham cracker crust!" Plus the sugar on the cracker, which made the cream cheese taste sweeter and suddenly there was a light bulb above my head.
Try it. Just...seriously just try it.

Hey, Frank, that's MY wife! Come on, Nancy!

Okay I've noticed something as of late. I'm a shameless Pinterest addict, but Bear also introduced me to Reddit within the past year. Really I'm only a lurker on there. And I've noticed that sometimes I'll be on Pinterest early in the morning with my coffee, and I'll see a picture...like this one for example:

 

This is a picture of Ronald Reagan telling Frank Sinatra to stop dancing with his wife.

Then, later on in the day, I decided to browse Reddit for a little while, and I think I was in the "new" posts, which I don't typically look though cause boring, but I decided to. And again, I saw this picture.

I just thought it was sort of funny and makes me think about the direction of content as it makes its way around the internet.  Where does it start? Who finds it first after that? Is there a regular flow of where things start and who begins the spread first or is it different every time depending on how large the community is who is spreading it? Just a thought.

The tip.

Like I've said before, I have pretty sensitive nails. Right when I start to think that I've been particularly kind to them, they will start to peel on me. I just keep having to cut them pretty short to get rid of the peeling nail tips.
When I know that my nails are having a particularly rough week, but I have polish on, I'm wary of removing it right then even when they are lookin' pretty rough and chipped, because I know it'll only dry them out again. Sometimes I just need to try and make my manicure looking decent for as long as possible, or do away with it altogether for a while. This past week I've had just a solid coat of polish on my nails, I wanted to have something on but I didn't want it to be too loud. This is one of my favorite go-to neutral polishes, Eternal Optimist by Essie:

After nearly a week, my nails look pretty dingy, chipped and generally beat up:

But aside from the tips, they don't look horrible, and if I could stand to look at them like that any longer I would just leave them like this cause lazy. I did end up taking it off, but I thought I might come up with some ideas for you in case this is often your predicament and your nails just need a little...refurbishing, let's say.
For my left hand, I went with the 3-stroke-clouds for my pointer finger using both white and silver polishes. For my middle (messily), I went over the entire nail in white (you could use any color, I'm sure...) and used a small dotting tool while the polish was still wet and sort of carved out/engraved some dots and hearts. I screwed up my ring finger, but for my pinky I did a half circle in white and used a dotting tool to make the outside of the curve look "bumpy" and used the same tool to make dots on the side in the same color as my nail. For my thumb, I did practically the same thing as my pinky except using a sort of sweetheart-neckline shape and put my dots in different places.

For my right hand, I started running out of on-the-spot ideas and just went with a french manicure for my thumb that I achieved having cut a curve out of painters tape and placing it on my nail as a french manicure stencil. Paint your tip white, peel the tape off and voila! For my pointer, I messily went over my tip in white and used black and silver striping polishes to make a sort of feathery looking design.

I'm sure I can come up with more ideas, but these are just what I came up with in a few minutes this afternoon.

Hypoglycemia

Socially awesome awkward penguin basically sums me up. Ever since I was in early elementary school, my mom knew something was off with my eating habits and needs, so we got some blood work done in elementary school as well as in the fifth grade where I had a hypoglycemic attack like I've never experienced since, and it was concluded that I was hypoglycemic. Its just a long word that means I have low blood sugar. I don't need to inject myself with anything daily, I just need to make sure I eat enough, all the time.
I know what you're probably thinking: all you have to do is eat enough? Honestly though it can sometimes be such a burden. If I go more than like 2 1/2-3 1/2 hours without eating anything at all, I get nauseous in the blink of an eye (its so weird...I'll be perfectly fine one minute, and the next I could easily be dry heaving over the toilet), dizzy, sometimes pretty disoriented, really tired, wicked cranky, and more than half the time I will lose my appetite, which makes it pretty difficult to get myself feeling back to normal again.
Its hard to keep up with eating so much though. If I happen to go "out" anywhere and I'm not sure when I'll be back, I have to make sure to at the very least bring a couple granola bars and some water with me. I don't think I've ever once gotten through one of my 3 hour classes without having to eat something at some point during it. I feel like a walking grocery store sometimes.
So it's pretty paramount that I have some go-to snacks to get in my belly either before or while the nausea begins to set in and I realize that I need something to eat, now. I've been trying pretty hard lately to make my own snacks to bring places too, instead of grabbing PopTarts or Chewy bars on my way running out the door because I forgot. There is always a 50/50 chance that I have an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers in my bag, but lately I've been trying to make my own "_____ and crackers" snacks to take on the run with me. Nutella on a Ritz is usually my go-to first thought. I love Nutella. After that, it's whatever fruit I have around me, smooshed into my Nutella. After that, whatevs. I think these are my favorites because I could die happy while eating anything of the salty/sweet combination (when I was a kid I would dip potato chips into Dr. Pepper. Yes, the soda, don't judge me).
Yesterday, though, I had cream cheese in the house. Smooshed it on a Ritz, ate it. Then I saw that we had bananas, so I cut up that banana, like so (I'm convinced I've come up with the tidiest way to slice bananas...),

put it on top, ate it. Then I realized that what I was eating could be like a mini banana-cream-pie, so I put a little bit of sugar on top of my next cracker's cream cheese (like quick-made cream cheese frosting), put that banana on top and ate that little shit too.

Cute, huh?
I should turn this into a segment. Hypoglycemia: Eat Something Before You Throw Up And/Or Pass Out.

Nails! :3

About a year and a half ago, I started doing my own nails. I was never one to go to a salon to get them done, and whenever I did, it was like a "big treat" because it's always so damn expensive. So I decided I was done having to choose between not having pretty nails, or paying anything from $30-$50 to get my nails done.
So I started doing my own. I didn't entirely "not know" what I was doing, but it wasn't like everything started out all neat and dandy. Yes, I could paint my nails just fine. But you don't, at least I don't, go to a salon to get someone to "just paint my nails." I want something pretty! I want nail art! And I didn't know how to do any fun things, except I still have this little thing of jewels I think my mom got me...prooobably about 12 years ago now. And I'm still using them. But aside from those, I didn't know how to do anything.
I threw out all the polishes I've had since I was 6 (...no, seriously, I kept those) and I started a whole new "collection," if you will. I looked online for tutorials for simple nail art and came up with some homemade nail art tools until I could get an actual set of them.

 My nail bin! I store this on the floor of my closet.

I keep my nail "accessories" in the top (brushes, cuticle things, nail art stuff)

Aaand in the bottom, I keep all of my polishes

And I went crazy that first few months with doing my nails. I was experimenting with different ideas and colors and I didn't have any nail rings or anything to practice on, so my nails took a beating. They became dry and brittle and I couldn't figure out why. When they started becoming yellow and began peeling, I knew I needed to take a pretty-nail hiatus. I needed to figure out why my nails were doing what they were doing, and when I figured out that it was because I was drying them out with nail polish remover, it was like the biggest "DUH" moment of my life.
So I took about a month and a half without doing my nails at all. When they finally got back to "normal," I began again by being very gentle with them. I'd do them one week, be gentle with removing it, and go a few days without doing anything to them again. Also, I bought practice nail rings from Sally Beauty Supply so I wasn't practicing on my own hands anymore. I could save ideas for later and remember how I did it so I didn't go ruining my nails trying to do the same thing 6 times. To this day  my nails are still very sensitive, so I'm always looking for new ways to be kind to them while still being able to paint them like I like to.

What I do:
Keep them relatively short and neat. I know some people have no problem having nice long nails, but my nails just don't do well being very long. On a "long" day, I can just barely see the tips of my nails when I look at my palm. I've tried the at home nail hardening things, and I've tried the nail hardening polishes, and nothing really seems to do much of anything. If you've got nails like me, I know you want those super long nails but sometimes its just better to face the facts of what you've got...sort of like the texture of your hair.
If it peels or cracks, cut it. I know this will break your heart. I've been there a thousand times. It takes you a few weeks to get your nails nice and long and at the length that you want them at, and then the tips begin peeling, or the peel goes all the way back to before the white and you're like "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU." I get it. And I've been the one to try "buffing out the peel" but seriously, believe me when I say it will only make it worse. Buffing makes your nails thinner. If your nails are already in bad shape, making them thinner will not help. Just start fresh.
Use a base coat. You may not think you need it, maybe your nails don't stain, and maybe you don't use super pigmented polishes, but if you do, a base coat is always a good idea. It just adds an extra layer between your nail and the color so that it doesn't stain.
Moisturize. Okay this one tends for even me to have difficulties remembering to do. I just tend to wash my hands pretty frequently and I can't always or don't always remember to re-moisturize. All I can say is keep something on you in your purse or your pocket or wherever that can easily be used when you feel like you need it. I have a travel sized Aquaphor in my purse for emergencies, and I slather my hands in Aquaphor before I go to bed, but throughout the day I just find that Aquaphor is a little oily and greasy for my convenience. About 4 months ago I've started using coconut oil quite a bit, and I've recently put a dollop in a small container and stuck it in my purse and now use it for quick moisture when I need it. I'll be doing another post sometime about my other experiences using coconut oil, but for now, let's just say it's working well for my hands!
Remove polish gently. Okay I'll be honest, up until last week I was scrubbing polish off my nails. If you think about it, even if you have half the polish off, you're still soaking and scrubbing the rest off, and through all that, you're still scrubbing the part of the nail that has nothing on it. In doing this, we're seeeriously drying out our nails. I found a new method on Pinterest that is another huge DUH moment because it will also save you money. If you're stingy like me, you'll like this one.
Did you know you can unravel a cotton ball? You never use the entire cotton ball if you just soak it with remover and use it like normal.

Unravel it and tear it up into small pieces.

Dip just a tiny portion of a piece into remover and place it onto your nail and press lightly just so that it gets traction on the nail enough to stay there, and leave it there. Don't move it, don't scrub, don't do anything with it. Let the remover do the work for you. It literally will break up the nail polish and about 2-3 minutes later, lightly press on the cotton and slide off of your nail. It is like magic.

My nails are very sensitive and after I remove normally, they look dry. After I do it this new way, they look like normal nails. I was SO impressed, and I'll be removing my nail polish like this from here on out.  Not only is it clearly being more gentle on my nails, but I'm literally using one cotton ball to remove all my polish from 10 fingers. Yes, please.

So there you go. That's the life of my nails. I work at a restaurant and I babysit two young rough boys and some days I can be a very busy girl. I don't have time to "be gentle with my hands" all the time. I need to use my hands and my fingers and my nails. So those are the things that I do to keep them looking okay and healthy.

I think I just realized I'm a real-life Bridezilla.

Bear and I got engaged one year and two months ago. Having just turned 20, I was excited to know "okay, this is going to happen." But we didn't start planning, because it was still pretty early and we didn't (and still don't) have "those jobs" yet, and as we all know, money for a wedding is sort of top priority. Duh. So every time anybody brings up weddings and "when" and "where," I generally try brushing it off and try not to publicly fall apart, I just freak out thinking about it later, away from everyone. Even thinking about it up to this point gives me horrible anxiety and I start almost feeling depressed, which is weird because you're supposed to be excited and happy about your wedding, right? ....right?
It's just so overwhelming to even begin the process, and even worse now that I can't even get married in the month that I wanted to, because my brother and his fiance already started planning having gotten engaged a few months ago and she chose the beginning of September...which is when I wanted. And since it isn't really fair to guests and family who will be attending both weddings, as far as gifting and money is concerned, I basically have to pick a completely different time of year, or wait another year. Or have a friggin fly-by wedding THIS fall...and I can barely handle thinking about this happening in a year and a half, never mind a half a year. Trying to just go with it. But when I'm already anxious to my limit, it's impossible for me to just go with anything.
So since June is basically out of the question because it's like the most popular wedding month, I'm stuck with rainy May or unbearably hot July. My parents got married in July and my mom says it was horribly hot that day. I want late August/early September, but if I got married before my brother, I would have to be sure to be back from the honeymoon in time for their wedding, and if I got married after theirs, they would have to get back in time for mine. It just causes a whole bunch of messiness that only adds to the stress I feel embarking on all of this crap. Next to having kids, this is supposed to be the happiest and most memorable day of my whole life, and looking at it from where I'm sitting right now, I am sorry to say that so far, I am not excited and I am not happy about where I have to start in planning this.
Also, it doesn't help at all that up until the point when Bear proposed, I literally never thought about my wedding day or what I wanted it to look like. I just wasn't that girl who dreamed about it. Either I was busy thinking about stuff I considered more important at 8 years old, or I just assumed that day was so far off in the future that I didn't need to think about it yet. A word of advise to any female who is either young or just not engaged yet...start thinking about it. Now. Just saying. Because starting wedding planning from LITERALLY square 1 is terrible. Someone asks you "well what colors do you want? Do you have a theme? What kind of dresses do you like? Flowers? Hair? DECORATIONS? CAKE? HOW MANY BRIDESMAIDS? FATHER DAUGHTER DANCE! FOOD? LETS FIND A HALL! AND A DJ! PICK A DAY! WHAT DAY ARE YOU GONNA GET MARRIED ON? WHAT TIME! CHURCH OR NO CHURCH?!
Such loaded questions. Seriously....get out of my face. You don't need to know the answer to any of this stuff until you get an invitation in the mail so just calm your shit.
I think I've sort of decided a direction to go in for this wedding though...I guess I'm just not a traditional wedding kind of girl for whatever reason, maybe because the rigidness of the planning involved is just way too much for me to handle. I just want to get married, and have fun after. Why is that so difficult. I don't want to be in a stuffy hall with people who were told where to sit and eating food that we would probably never eat on our own. That's so not who we are. We're very young 20's. It isn't like we're getting married at 35 for the first time...this is doomed to be a nontraditional wedding. What I'm envisioning is family being with family and comfortable food and good fun...like a backyard cookout, wedding-style. I want to drink out of a mason jar for everything except maybe the toast...whenever that's supposed to happen. I want things to be light-hearted and easygoing and fun. I don't want to be stressed out if things don't go perfectly according to The Plan. I want any children who will be in attendance to feel like they belong there and have fun and not like they're in a room full of old people they don't know and don't want to be around. My immediate family doesn't do stuff that requires us to get all dressed up fancy-like to eat fancy food, and Bear's family does the big old wedding shebang but I know they're more fun sitting in the backyard with Portuguese music and food and booze. I already know I don't want my reception to be a big drunk dance club, because that's dumb and also because Bear and I don't have enough friends anymore (hahaha...no but really).
So there's my Bride-To-Be rant. These are a few things that are in my head.

I got the police called on me yesterday.
Bear was over yesterday because we were going to look for places to hold a reception...but nobody answered their phones. The mother of the woman I babysit for told me months ago that I could hold my reception in her backyard at her house...so he and I decided to go check it out. I didn't have their number so I called the woman I babysit for and asked where their house was, and then I remembered that they won't even be there, because they're in Florida for the season. Oh well, she told us it would be fine to just go by and check it out. So we found the house, it was off on a pretty secluded dead-end road in the woods. We get out, take a quick look around the back of the house at the yard, and decide that it just isn't right for a wedding reception. As we get back in the car, Bear notices the guy living across the street was watching us from the top of his driveway. I didn't think much of it, just a neighbor looking out for the house of neighbors who aren't home. About 2 hours later, we are home & walking the dog when a state trooper's cruiser is slowly coming up my road, obviously looking for something. I honestly didn't think anything of it, I just figured he would ask me where someone's house is on his way by since he looked a little lost. He did pull up, and asked what Bear's name was and then mine, then for my last name and asked where "insert house number here" was. I told him that was mine. So then he starts asking what we were doing on that road earlier at that house and I'm thinking OH MY GOD THEY CALLED THE POLICE ON US LOLOL. I must look like such a shifty person....not. I explained to him what we were doing there and how I knew those people and how I'd called their daughter and she knew I was there, and how I was aware that they are in Florida. My story must have checked out because he left by saying he got a call and there were a few break-ins in the area. Nbd.

Honey badger winter attire

It's 8:08 AM, 31 degrees Fahrenheit. I'm pretty sure yesterday at this time, it was 6 degrees. This is what we call, in a New England winter, a "heat wave." Bahah. But no, seriously. And it is supposed to get all the way up to almost 35 degrees. This is significant, considering the last at least two days have not gotten above 23 degrees.
This may sound like a bunch of crap that doesn't matter, but I have a point I swear. I have a Pose account and the app on my phone, which is basically just an app that you can "pose" a picture of yourself wearing something snazzy or whatever, and be able to tag where the stuff is from. It's like a little fashion community. Okay well, I was on it this morning just poking around and I noticed something. These women will wear barely a leather jacket and 5 inch stiletto booties and call it their "winter wear."
Really?
...Really?
Where do you live that that is what you can wear in January?

Every single day I wear this arrangement. Which, I might add, I wouldn't say is "Pose"worthy, but it's warm as hell and makes for good walking-Miss-Girl-through-the-woods-attire-because-she'll-keep-me-out-there-for-an-hour.
I think I belong in New England because we have winters like the ones we do. I have too cranky an outlook on life in general to live in a place where it's sunny and warm all year. If you're from Canada or Michigan or some other cold, baron wasteland that is your winter, then shush, its my blog and I'm going to complain about mine anyway LOL :3

By the way, the boots shown above are bad ass. They're BOGS, my parents got them for me this past Christmas and I love them. Highly suggest BOGS footwear. My mom made those mittens. And that coat is from LLBean and I'm pretty sure they don't even sell it anymore. But either way, LLBean clothes hold up like a champ.
I just had to say something on this subject, because I find it really silly when someone calls this their "winter wear":

You will break your neck, and be freezing doing it. Just. Saying.
Well anyway, I'm off to Bear's for the day and I'm a little late in getting ready now after writing this. Toodles.

My latest hiccup

As you probably already know, I like to sew. Although I've only made one dress from scratch before, I really like to alter clothes, usually ones I already have. Having said this, the only experience I have with a sewing pattern is in making that one dress, when I was 15. Well here we are, a handful of years later and for Christmas my aunt gave me a book of sewing projects that came with a little envelope with all the necessary patterns. I didn't really think about it until I actually took the patterns out of the envelope and unfolded them...and might I say, I think I've found a brand new hatred.
For starters, I'm only 21 years old and my vision is fine, but I can't see a damn thing I'm trying to cut out. The paper might as well rip into 37 pieces if I blow on it. It rips when I pin it for more than one cut. It just rips. I lose pieces if I move any fabric at all in the surrounding area because literally, a hurricane might as well have just torn through the room. Once there is a crease, there is always a crease.
And all of these things really suck because there are a lot of cute things to do in that book of projects and I want to do all of them. Maybe I'm just not gentle enough to use patterns...but seriously I better work on my gracefulness or I am no doubt going to punch someone in the jugular over patterns.
Here is the book if you want to check it out. I have no affiliation with the book aside from owning a copy and in having said all of these things about patterns, I have nothing against the book and their projects. I have just developed a universal hatred of pattern paper.

Happy New Year!

Well, we made it past the "end of the world," and onto the year 2013!
Nah, but in reality this country, and myself, as well as those around me, have had a rough year. I won't go into it, because it's now over and we have a seemingly fresh start, so I'll take it. I'm just optimistic about being able to start over.
Do you make a New Year's resolution? If you do, and you are normally the kind to actually stick to it for longer than...January...GOOD LUCK! GO FORTH AND CONQUER! I, on the other hand, have never set forth with a resolution and kept it for more than a few days. If in the beginning of this blog I'd have told myself I was going to post once every Wednesday, or something, I would have failed miserably at that for a very long time now. Yoga? Tried that, got into it for about 2 straight weeks or so and I really thought I might take off with it...nope. Every now and then I'll do it, but I'll unfortunately probably never do this:

But the normal stretching & breathing is nice.
No. This year, I think I'll do something different. I'll resolve things I actually feel I can stick to.
I'll resolve to try. I resolve to persevere. I'll resolve to do the best I can. I will be a better person toward everyone- my family, my fiance, and people I don't know.  I resolve to read more classics, and actually get my way all the way through Little Women (grandma gave it to me for Christmas when I was 12...I think it's time, don't you?). I will try new things. I will be crafty. I will pray. I will love. I will continue to be mindful of being patient with others. I might even do yoga again.
I'm not going to put myself on a schedule with these resolutions...because let's be honest, nobody ends up sticking to a New Year's Resolution schedule after January. Unless you actually did quit smoking...in which case, 'you go, Glen Coco!' But for me, putting myself on a resolution schedule is basically like telling myself "so you just made this list...of things you will never do. That was fun! See you next year."
Here's to 2013!